Yeah, Just Friends, Right?

Nairobi, 

Tuesday, 7 January, 2024 

McCreadie Andias 

Ah, the classic phrase: “We’re just friends.” A simple sentence capable of launching a thousand ships of confusion, tears, and the occasional bottle of wine. But what does it really mean? Is it a heartfelt declaration of platonic purity or the most passive-aggressive rejection in the history of human interaction?

Let’s dive into this chaotic masterpiece of human relationships.

Chapter 1: The Friend Zone, AKA Purgatory

Ah, the friend zone—a mythical realm where one party skips through daisies of companionship while the other prays for a plot twist. It’s like being offered cake but told you can only smell it. As one wise (fictional) philosopher once said:

"Being 'just friends' is like being a Wi-Fi signal at 1 bar—there’s potential, but you’re not getting connected anytime soon."

Consider the curious case of Mark and Lisa. Mark thought he was heading toward Love Avenue, only to take a sharp turn onto Friendship Boulevard. Lisa, meanwhile, genuinely thought they were just vibing over tacos and existential crises. “I mean, he laughed at my memes; I didn’t know that was a proposal!” she said in an interview with literally everyone.

Chapter 2: The Maybe-More-Than-Friends Dance

This is where things get murky. The glances last a second too long. Inside jokes start resembling marriage vows. Someone’s Spotify Wrapped features the other’s favorite playlist. Suddenly, you’re both doing things “friends” wouldn’t normally do—like sharing a blanket during a horror movie or texting "Goodnight, you " instead of the standard "Later."

"Just friends? That’s what they all say before they start slow-dancing in the kitchen over leftover pizza," remarked Dr. Oops, a renowned expert in accidentally falling in love with your bestie.

But when questioned, they’ll defend their “just friends” status with the vigor of a defense attorney in a high-stakes trial. “We’re close, sure, but like… not that close,” they’ll say, moments before wiping marinara sauce off each other’s faces.

Chapter 3: The Awkward Realization

Let’s be real: sometimes, being “just friends” is an unspoken placeholder for I’m scared to ruin this, but also, are we soulmates?. It’s a tightrope walk of emotions. One wrong move, and you’re either holding hands or holding awkward silences.

Take Sarah and Ben, who spent five years in denial. “I just thought we were comfortable,” Sarah admitted during the post-confession chaos. Ben added, “Yeah, I thought cuddling during thunderstorms was just... practical!” Spoiler alert: They’re now married with a dog named Platonic.

"The line between 'just friends' and 'soulmate in disguise' is thinner than my patience for vague texts," quipped a random Twitter user we’re definitely quoting for credibility.

Chapter 4: When “Just Friends” Actually Works

And then, there’s the rare case where “just friends” is actually the truth. No hidden feelings, no ulterior motives, just two humans enjoying each other’s company. It’s wholesome, it’s pure, and frankly, it’s boring for this article.

"Being truly just friends is like finding a unicorn—it exists, but most people think they’ve seen it when they’ve only spotted a horse in a glittery hat," notes Professor Real Friendships, whose name may or may not be fake.

My parting Shot 

So, what have we learned? The phrase “yeah, just friends” is a linguistic shapeshifter. It can mean exactly what it says or everything but. It’s a truth wrapped in a lie, dipped in denial, and sprinkled with hope.

To anyone currently navigating this minefield, remember: life’s too short to second-guess a connection. Whether you’re destined to be pals, partners, or part of the next awkward rom-com, just go with it. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always tacos.

"If love is a battlefield, then 'just friends' is the trench where we hide until we figure out which way to go." – A poet, probably.